Thursday, July 8, 2010

Problem Gambling Hotline

Finally, I found a hotline number: 017-2381900. The counselling service is at 8.30pm on every Wednesday and Thursday. I don't have the complete address but it is located on the 3rd floor above Happy Man Restaurant 快乐人茶餐室 opposite Shell. Approximate GPS: 3.072943, 101.710272.

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A Gambling Story

 二零一零年六月六日 晚上九时三十九分


报导:张雅莉、杨业兴
摄影:刘洁云
生于赌博世家的邓天兆3岁爱上钞票味、7岁开始接触任何形式的赌博,尽管是“拖鞋飞牌赢相片换钱”的小玩意儿也不放过。小时候因为钱而好赌,长大后则因钱而恋权。
29岁成为职业赌徒之前,他假借伦敦深造之名,经常到当地赌场作客。家人都不知道他好赌成性,更不知道原来每次向家里要钱缴学费或买车,其实是要还赌债或筹赌本。
12岁精通所有赌法
在朋友的感染下,12岁已精通所有赌法。16岁那年,云顶赌场开幕,同样爱好赌博的父亲以“贵宾”身份带未成年的他进赌场,这第一次的尝试,让他从此与赌场“结怨”。
立志要做赌神
深知私人赌桌40招骗术,所以17岁开始就不赌私人赌局。他也在17岁那一年被港剧《千王之王》的影响下,立志要和主角看齐。12年后成为职业赌徒,不仅行动要小心,生活作息也要保密。
“我不相信这个世界有神,对我来说,最伟大的神是赌神,我就是要做赌神。”
长大之后,由于神奇的力量,他曾经拥有11个月在赌台上不败的纪录。他形容当时的自己,很想为中国人争光,即去了澳洲的赌场打“鬼佬”,赢得了总共6万澳币。
意气风发的邓天兆,也开始认为自己能够主宰自己的命运,身边总有保镳保护,对家人的态度也越来越恶劣。

1989年,当年34岁的他夺下第一届亚洲百家乐大赛冠军,、拥有连续6年在赌台上没输过的纪录,成为大马人的骄傲。
隔年,妻子嚷着要离开,然后是跳楼死不去,接下来接触耶稣,10个月后洗心革面决定戒赌,戒赌的第3年,开始对赌博完全失去兴趣,造就了今天的他,一名愿意到各地分享见证的牧师。
港片《赌神之神》80%是真实故事 戒赌后称耶稣为大佬
赌王邓天兆17岁立志要做“千王之王”,矢要掌控权和钱,戒赌后他高呼:“2010年我大佬是稣哥(指耶稣)!”
年纪轻轻就坐拥1600万令吉身家、拥有7家公司(包括在地产业),当时的他有钱又有面子。身家从零到百,再从最高峰坠入谷底,一代赌王如今变为一名牧师,到处布道宣扬戒赌。
他说,赌博离不开一人欢喜,必有一人痛苦的定率,正确的赚钱之道是努力读书,然后找一份不错的工作正常入息。
《赌神之神》是2003年的作品,这是一部讲述邓天兆赌博生涯的港产片。电影中80%是他的真实故事,另外20%则是依据观众喜爱而加以戏剧化的编排。
他认为,赌博3成靠煞气、2成靠功夫,还有5成需要靠运气,赌桌上也没有永远的常胜军。
促政府取消赌球合法化 免华裔陷赌博无底洞
邓天兆强调,各项球赛都被世界赌球集团操控,球员在球场已经不是比技术,只要出高价就能踢假球。
对于大马政府重新发出赌球执照的决定,他认为此举不但无法打击国内赌风,反而让更多华裔陷入赌博无底深渊。他补充,各地都设有赌球投注站很危险。
“今天球赛都被世界赌球集团操纵,你们(赌徒)是赢不了的。”
他劝促政府取消赌球合法化政策,否则将会衍生许多社会问题,导致偷抢罪案更猖獗。他认为,赌球合法化之后,后代就会很惨。
张颂耀:促使赌徒年轻化
另外,陪同他接受《光华日报》专访的信心戒毒会会长张颂耀在旁补充:“赌球合法化,促使赌徒年轻化。”
“以前是偷偷摸摸,现在光明正大,一旦华人把赌博当成问题才是问题。”
与此同时,曾经当过黑社会老大、万字票操控人、球赛卜基的邓天兆也以亲身经历,说明球赛由他人掌控。
1990年,世界杯西德队一粒点球1比0战胜了阿根廷,邓天兆的口袋一夜间增加300万美金收入。他说,如果不是最后一分钟评判吹哨子把罚球判给西德,他输的肯定比赢的多。
他提到,当时的他是卜基,最后收到可靠风声指西德必赢,所以就下100万重注。
6年赢6000万 邪灵附身会“变牌”
“换牌是魔术,变牌是邪灵!”
经营赌场的人,一般都有供奉偶像或养“鬼仔”,邓天兆认为自己逢赌必赢的诀窍是邪灵附身赋予“变牌”功力。
22年前接触这股邪灵的力量,当时自己也不知道那是怎么一回事。他说:“1985年在澳大利亚阿德雷得赌场发现自己懂得变牌,同年年杪便开始用此技纵横各赌场,6年间在赌桌收入达6000万令吉。”
可是,这一切都要付出代价,世上没有白吃的午餐,信教后的他相信与魔鬼交易的代价是对方会拿掉你的命运。
邪灵贴身跟随,凌晨3时和下午5时45分都在赌场赌身家!
他说,邪灵最强的时候是上述两个时段,也是他可以把“变牌”技术发挥得淋漓尽致的时刻。
他试过在2小时65个赌局中,赢了57局、8局打和。
冥冥之中有天意 6个月输光反负债
在他赌运开始要走下坡时,邓天兆认为,这冥冥之中已有天意。
“我从未去过赌场的厕所,那天去了,还要求保镳先去厕所‘清场’,指示倘若有人在内,就把他撵出来。”
说来也让邓天兆感到奇怪,虽然有其保镳在外守护着,竟然还是有一个老先生能够进入厕所之内,并对他说,“收手吧,不然就会太迟。”
不信邪的邓天兆并没有注意到这冥冥之中的安非,还是照赌不误,结果在那时开始(1990年),他连续输了6个月,总共输了6000万令吉,还欠下700万令吉的债务。
其所谓的神奇力量,也不再管用了。
公寓15楼跃下 大难不死是神迹
走到人生的最低潮,在一天晚上,当他输了百多万令吉之后,一个人坐在露台之上,准备从17楼跳下来自杀......
他当时抵挡不了钱的诱惑经常上赌场,之后遇到邪灵“赐予”非凡力量让他创造逢赌必赢的神话。有一年,因为邪灵已离自己远去,输到口袋只剩下1元新币,耳朵出现了魔鬼的呼唤--“去死吧!”
于是他于某日凌晨3时,在新加坡住处--公寓15楼一跃而下,清晨7时发现自己还在人世,之后接到姐夫从香港打来的电话。
姐夫的一通电话要他见耶稣,而他答应见面的目的只有一个,那就是借200万澳币在赌桌翻身。
为了讨好姐夫就到教会,从开始接触到喜欢,直到信教后,他相信当天大难不死是神迹。
“虽然心有不甘,但是在我向主祷告时,突然眼泪就掉下来了,哭了40分钟,我是因为感到羞愧而哭。”
从此,邓天兆的命运就改变了,家人都重新回到他的怀抱,子女都在外国进修,之前嗜赌如命的父亲,也信了教。
料金沙赌场开幕1年后 新国罪案率必飙升
在新加坡定居逾20年的邓天兆预计,在金沙赌场开幕1年后,新国罪案率必定飙升。
他指出,鼓励赌博不应是政府赚取收入的途径,因为这将会衍生出许多社会问题。
“新加坡好几年前的罪案报告都很平安,相信2011年社会问题的数据将会增加。”
挥别赌场再评论赌场,他说,赌场是老千、洗黑钱人士、讨生活者、大耳窿、黑社会及娼妓聚集的地方,只要你赢钱就会有女人“玩”;只要输钱大耳窿就会出现再你面前;至于赢太多也会遭黑社会的骚扰。

张松耀:赌徒孩子嗜赌几率高  赌博会影响身边人

(吉隆坡6日讯)信心戒赌会会长张松耀也提到,赌博不但会影响到个人,还会影响到身边的人。
他指出,目前国内约有8万名赌徒,倘若他们每人都影响到身边的25个人,国内受赌博影响的人将达到200万人。
“而赌徒的孩子,他们染上赌瘾的几率,比一般孩子高4倍。”
他驳斥一般人指赌博是华人的传统,他认为,倘若赌博是华人的传统,为何中国并没有合法的赌博业,也没有与赌博有关的博物馆。
信心戒赌会目前正在进行筹款,以便能够协助赌徒戒赌,因为他们深信,让问题赌徒成为问题的答案,是最好解决国内赌风盛的环境。
张祖诚告诫赌博坏处
该会也缴得了有赌王之称的邓天兆及“戒赌大使”大马著名歌手张祖诚,也前来分享赌博的坏处。
张祖诚表示,由于父亲嗜赌如命的影响,他儿童时期过得并不愉快;父亲赌输钱,甚至把其钢琴卖掉,最后本身也一走了之。
赌徒想要戒赌,或身边的人是赌徒,要如何是好?或尝试联络信心戒赌会0172381900

信心戒賭會

My brother, Gary, emailed me a picture he took from his phone. And I found the online article immediately.

戒賭會6月份接200通電話‧球賽賭徒暴增3倍

雪隆 頭條新聞 2010-07-08 09:41

(吉隆坡)全球矚目的世界杯才進入4強賽,不少賭徒已因賽果頻頻爆冷而焦頭爛額,信心戒賭會在6月份接獲的電話更是高達200通,比一般月份多出3倍!

2010年世界杯足球賽從6月11日展開,一直到7月12日才進入總決賽,不過,出乎意料之外的賽績,造成不少賭徒撐不到總決賽就宣告提早收工。

戒賭會宿舍逾半客滿

信心戒賭會4間分別在吉隆坡、芙蓉及居鑾的宿舍,單在6月份的新增人數就有14人,世杯未結束宿舍已逾半客滿。

據瞭解,這是很不平常的現象,因以往世杯的經驗顯示,賭徒通常在世杯結束後的一個月內,陸續致電信心戒賭會求助,或開始入住信心戒賭會。

賽績爆冷賭徒提早輸光

該會總幹事林萬興向《大都會》指出,隨著科技的進步、發達與方便,如今一場球賽已可分幾次賭了,加上本屆世界杯的賽績一直爆冷,導致許多賭徒的口袋提早輸清光。

他說,他們每天接獲一兩通諮詢電話,一個月下來約有五六十通,沒想到世界杯的開踢,6月份接獲的詢問電話飆升至200通,數目驚人。

據悉,信心戒賭會各地的宿舍共有63個床位,目前已入住了43人,所剩空缺約20個;沒有住宿舍但參加戒賭課程的有7人。

林萬興指出,他們已可預見在世界杯結束後,將有更多人致電求助或要入住宿舍,參加為其3個月的戒賭課程。

他表示,屆時他們也願意接收額外10%的人,而在上屆世界杯後,只有18個床位的吉隆坡宿舍,最高紀錄是住了24人,睡客廳沙發或睡袋等。

“我們現在面對的問題是人力與資力不足,有時人太多也難以應付,若無法給予真正的幫助,收在多人也沒用。”

入住者多已臨絕路

他說,其實很多時候賭徒或其家人都只是致電詢問,並非人人都可以馬上住進宿舍或參與戒賭課程。

他披露,病態賭徒一般上都有一個想法,只要口袋裡還有錢,都還可以再搏一把,所以住進來或參與課程的人,通常都是已走到絕路。

不再等賭徒上門求助

全國設戒賭事工站

病態賭徒的心態就是未到絕路,不會上門求助或決心戒賭,因此信心戒賭會決定放棄扮演守株待兔的角色,放眼在未來2年,在全國各地開設戒賭事工站。

林萬興指出,他們2003年開設戒賭會至今,發現賭徒若有家人的陪伴及支持,其成功率也比較高。但同時,他們發現家人比賭徒更需要輔導。

他說,賭徒對家人帶來的傷害不可避免,但當家有賭徒時,家人應該做一個界線,在經濟上獨立,把傷害降到最低。

鑑於此,他認為,賭徒的家人更需要輔導,教導他們如何面對賭徒的心態與性格、經濟上如何獨立、受恐嚇時要報警處理等。

他說,在新加坡協助給予輔導時得到此概念,並在短短2個月內協助了7個家庭,目前沙巴、柔佛、檳城及怡保已有單位要成立戒賭事工站。



陷入賭海

一切從“小賭怡情”開始

大賭大風險,小賭小風險,不賭沒風險!

不賭就沒有金錢的損失,就沒有傷害。這是至理名言。

林萬興指出,他說,99%的病態賭徒從小賭怡情開始,然後慢慢地越陷越深,繼而危害整個家庭,所以不賭是最好。

對於政府拒絕發出賭球合法化執照,他贊好不已,因為少了合法管道賭球,無形中賭球的人也相繼減少。

賭博不是文化是壞習慣

他以香港賭球合法化為例,在短短2年內,青少年賭博率多了2倍,這是很讓人遺憾的事情。

林萬興指出,賭博不應該是華人的文化,而是華人的壞習慣。

政府應規定博彩業者

撥款助受害家庭

政府基於經濟效益批准售賣香煙,但在香煙包裝上印著香煙危害健康的字眼與圖片。

同樣的,政府因為經濟效益發出博彩業執照,但卻沒有像香煙般提醒人們賭博的危害。

此外,林萬興說,由於賭博危害許多家庭,政府也應該規定博彩業者,固定撥出一筆款項協助遭受賭博危害的家庭。

辦系列講座

“賭王”鄧天兆現身說法

信心戒賭會接下來將舉辦系列巡迴講座,並邀得已洗心革面的賭王鄧天兆牧師現身說法,以下為日期與地點:

7月8日 亞羅士打

7月9日 雙溪大年

7月10日 大山腳

7月11日 檳城

欲知更多詳情,歡迎致電熱線017-2381900或南馬熱線:016-7112377或新加坡:02-67490400。

賭仔自白

你是賭仔嗎?這次的世界杯,你是否也沉迷賭海?為進一步瞭解賭仔心聲和世杯賭風情況,歡迎賭仔剖白,歡迎電郵至metro@sinchew.com.my,傳真03-79556881或撥打熱線03-79562452

星洲日報/大都會‧2010.07.06

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Debt

Mom went back to Genting in the past months. She's staying with me now that she is in debt again. Besides borrowing from her personal Ah Longs, Beng Choo and Kim Tai, she also borrowed from her sister and her good friend Mrs Wong. The bulk of it is from the Ah Longs, RM21k and RM6k respectively. Her sister, my aunt, despite being poor, gave her RM4k. And Mrs Wong, an invalid from stroke, contributed RM1k. That's a whooping 32k.

She is not in Genting now for the time being.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Chinese Has A Gambling Culture

Consider:
  • Gambling Origin - Implements associated with the practice of gambling have been found in ancient China sites dating back to about 2300 B.C...Playing cards may have developed in China, since the Chinese developed both paper and money made from paper. In fact, the Chinese are said to have come up with the practice of shuffling paper money about 900 A.D. This may have evolved into the practice of shuffling cards.
  • The Hong Kong movie industry produces the most movies with themes revolving around gambling. Here's a partial list.
  • Mahjong is the longest-running fad in the Chinese communities. And it will stay as fad forever.
  • The most popular greeting during Chinese New Year is Gong Xi Fa Cai, which really is a congratulatory saying for winning in gambling. That's because every Chinese is expected to gamble in the New Year.

I took this picture today, the second day of CNY, the youngest gambler is only five years old.

Fourth Email from Dr Chin

Hi,

It's my pleasure to help in any way I can. And, a very Happy New Year to you and family too! You are a very caring man shown by your unconditional love to your mom. She is a very lucky woman to have a son like you who is also a scholar. Our parents' generation have different values to us especially to those who had the opportunity to be educated in the west. Our perspectives and means may differ but the end is always the same i.e.. caring for one another. Your mom seems to be ridden with so much guilt but accepts little responsibility. You have to point out to her that her sense of guilt is meaningless unless she stops gambling altogether. I believe your mom might have had, in the beginning, some personal problems unbeknown to others and gambling was a way of distraction, preoccupation and 'comfort' to her. But I suspect, it soon became an addiction and consequently her original personal problems and gambling addiction are now rolled into one. Alas, you are all currently trying to pick up the entangled pieces. By paying off her debts, you are merely coping with the consequences of her addiction and not dealing with the problem. It seems your mom's guilt is now secondary to her primary desire and that is, gambling. You really will have 'to be cruel to be kind' as the saying goes and offer your mom some kind of an ultimatum (something that only you and family know to be effective), otherwise, you may not only lose you condo but your mom too. There is only one purpose in life for all addicts (assuming your mom is one) and that is to satisfy their compulsive urge (did you read my previous article on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?). Treatment for your mom should include the family in terms of helping her to wean off her addiction and a 'one to one' therapy in dealing with the underlying problems which led to her addiction in the first place. As you rightly put it, she is in a loop, thus, you need to untangle the loop for her. At present, she cannot see the woods from the trees! I am sorry if I appear to be unkind but I am merely offering you my honest views and it would be wrong of me to say things you want to hear or reassure you that you are doing the right thing when it is not.

Please keep me informed

Kind Regards,

Dr. Chin

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Is Genting Gambling with Your Life?

We have got really good road in Malaysia. If you drive to Genting, you'll see plenty of driver aids such as reflective road studs, flashing LEDs, and state-of-the-art wireless-controlled active traffic information boards along the way. However, once you get to the roads built by Genting, you won't see any of these. All you have to guide you in bad weather or in heavy fog is the painted white dividers in the middle of the road.

Genting can do more to install better road-safety infrastructure:

  • reflective road studs placed along the side of roads to make it possible to identify the edge of the road
  • sharp bend sign with blinkers to improve visibility in bad weather
  • fog warning system to indicate traffic rules to observe: remind drivers to switch on headlights, observe speed limit, and provide visibility reading

When visibility drops to zero and with no help from Genting, it is like driving with a blindfold. Ask yourself if it is worth gambling with your life, or let Genting gamble with yours?

Third Correspondence with Dr Chin

Dr Chin emailed me for the third time on 2 February. My reply at the end.

Hi,

Thank you for clarifying my query re: “fit” as well mentioning the many signs that you alluded to: lying, chasing losses, borrowing money, always betting more, being obsessed with gambling, being unable to stop gambling, gambling out of need, gambling to forget.
The above, indeed confirm that your mum is addicted to gambling. First of all, you are wise not to deal directly with your mum’s loan sharks – it only complicates matter and may create unforeseen ramifications. Anyhow, the problem lies not with them but with your mum. Who knows, if you mum can’t get it from them, she may borrow from others who may be even more sinister.

You are certainly right that, there may an underlying cause(s) which led to your mum’s gambling addiction (which is presently unknown?) and if such is the case, then, it has to be dealt with. For example, your mum’s marriage broke up – apparently because of her gambling? - thus, could her unhappy marriage lead her to gambling in the first place? - so as to compensate for her unhappiness (e.g. depression?).Obviously, there are some gamblers, who played for fun initially but eventually got addicted to it – just like alcohol. Just out of curiosity, does your mum live by herself (is she lonely?) and what else can she do? if gambling is not an option? Has she got any hobbies, interests or any other purposeful activities or something to look foward to?

I should hope that whoever works with your mum, will include all in the family as part of her treatment. The fact that your mum is aware of the hurt she is causing all of you, is a very potent reinforcer to be included as part of the therapy to assist your mum’s problem. Since you are aware of Goffman’s work (‘labelling’ and ‘stigma’), you may not consider your mum’s problem as a ‘disease’ (Are you a medical doctor (“Freshman”), yourself?) – but regardless of the clinical or social definition, the fact remains - your mum’s problem is cascading to everyone around her.

Thanks for the blog info.


Regards,

Dr. Chin

    Hi Dr Chin

    Happy Lunar New Year.

    I am grateful that you take the time to correspond. I am a freelance web developer, I read Goffman's book in a sociology course in an American College. That's 26 years ago. My major was Electrical Engineering, eventually, I got my BSEE from University of Texas at Austin in 1988. While I was busy studying, things had been rough back home.

    My parents were not as lucky as me. They had almost no education. Now, I know a few very successful and very smart persons who had little or no education, these are really exceptional cases, which my parents are not. I wish there's an easy way to upload my mind to them so they can experience my world view, understand what I've learned, and borrow the tools that I have to help them think. To me, my mom's problem is trivial. But for her, wow. I have tried and tried and tried for so many years, I failed to alleviate one iota of her sufferings. I have come to believe that to suffer is hard-wired in her brain. I read about the plasticity of human brain, there must be a way to stimulate new pathways, new connections, to promote new ways of thinking. I don't know how it can be done.

    Mom is 75, her thinking is in a loop, and the loop is spiraling towards self-destruction. These are some of the things she vocalizes: I am useless; if I die, everything will be ok; I've got to pay back my sons, I don't like owing anyone's money; I am a burden to everyone; if my luck is good, I can win back the money; my luck is not good; I don't know why I'm agitated and get angry easily; if I have the courage, I'll just jump and kill myself and cease to be a burden.

    After getting her down from Genting, she's been staying with my family for the past couple of weeks, under my watch 24 hours everyday. But my wife needs to be back to Muar for the New Year, so we sent mom to my brother's today. My wife warned me that she'll be in Genting. I replied that I still have a condo I can sell and I hope that she won't lose that much.

    We'll see.

    正大光明

Monday, February 1, 2010

Dr Chin's Questions

I've just received Dr Chin's email with more questions. My answers are in grey.

Hi,

You may by all means, show my response. Does your mum suffer from Epilepsy? I am not sure what you mean by her "fits" - is it organic in origin or is it because of the shock, i.e. 'fainted', of having lost so much money? That, in itself has to be investigated whether it is related to gambling.

It sounds like your mum's gambling has got out of hand for many a year. Why have you and family not tackled her problem before until now?
Why? We didn't know better. I was over-confidence of my persuasive power, and I thought I had put in her head the foolishness of gambling. And I believed her when she said she wouldn't go to Genting again. I read Erving Goffman's The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life in my Freshman and the unfolding events over the past week just reminded me of Goffman's masks. I have taken off one of mom's masks.

Having said that, it's never too late! Bailing your mother out each time (paying back the debts) only perpectuate/encourage her gambling habit. So far, what are the consequences that your mother personally bear (e.g. make her known of the pain she is causing the family etc). It seems you and family are the ones who keep bailing her out i.e. shielding her from the consequences!
If I could reach into the center of my Mom's pain, I would wipe it clean. It was not easy for my Mom to ask her sons to pay off the debts. It was not easy to convince her to please let me pay her recent debt. All she wanted to do was for us to leave her alone so she could continue on in Genting. She was convinced that she could win back the money she lost. She wanted so much to win so she could pay back the money I bailed her out the last time.

Thus, Family support (not in terms of bearing the consequences of her behalf) and involvement in dealing with your mum's problem is essential as well as personal counseling. In the mean time, can you not find a way to control her finances?
My wife told me that if we cut-off her supply of money, she would not be able to gamble. I was thinking of setting up a trap to catch my mom's Ah Longs and hand it to the authority. After thinking over and talking to Genting's Security, I decided to not pursue it further:
  • these are soft Ah Loans, they will not harm my mom in anyway
  • I believe these are the only Ah Longs my mom are comfortable dealing with and if they no longer operate, and for some unforeseen reason my mom end up in Genting again, she may be force to borrow from the other hard Ah Long.

It is a good idea that you should asap contact the Psychological services as per list.
I have not been able to persuade my mom to see a counselor. I believe the problem is a lot deeper. I have not been listening to my mom all these years, the communication has been largely one way from me to her; and now when I try to listen, I find it hard to get her to open up. She told me she has not been happy a single day for the past ten over years. I asked why. She said she doesn't know.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

Regards,

Dr. Chin

Mom's Ah Longs

Mom has two Ah Longs: a hokkien-speaking called Beng Choo and a cantonese-speaking called Kim Tai. I called Beng Choo first. This is the second time I called her, the first time was in July 2009 when I bailed Mom out for the first time.
    Me: 我怎样拿钱给你? 你有去云顶无?
    BC: 我很少去云顶。 你直头进银行。
    Me: 你不要再借钱给我老母,我不会再为她还。
    BC: 不要紧, 老母一个吧了, 给她一些钱赌博不要紧,嘿嘿。。。

Beng Choo didn't want to meet me and she was very careful of saying more than she needed to say. Next I called Kim Tai.

    Me: 你不好再借钱给我妈,你知道她有同其他阿窿借无?
    KT: 我不知道,如果我知道,我不会借给她。我不会再借给她,如果我再借,你不需要还。
    Me: 你知道为什么我妈去云顶无?
    KT: 我一直有劝她。我知道你妈一路来都很不开心,她去云顶已经很久了。自从她女儿死后, 她从来没有忘记她,她很伤心。

My sister died of aneurysm in the brain in 1984. May be the problem is deeper than I thought.

Quiet

Mom was quiet on the way home from Genting. She would not answer questions. Later on in a restaurant, I let my wife tried talking to her. It went something like this:

  • 我们不是不让你赌,你可以赌,但你要让我们知道;当我们有空时,也可以带你来。
  • 云顶是不会让你赢的;云顶是世界上最奸的赌场。
  • 当你输完,就马上停, 不要继续赌。

I signaled my wife that this was not getting through to Mom. Mom avoided eye contact; she was far away in her own world. But at one point, she said in a soft voice 可以赢的,一次几百,几百是可以赢回来的。

It was difficult to talk to her. I knew I had to establish rapport before she would open up. I had to figure out and get to the center of her concern. I asked her directly:

  • 你是不是欠阿窿钱?多少?十万?五万?三万?
  • 你不要担心,我会为你解决。
  • 利息是多少?你跟多少个阿窿借?

She would not say much. Just remained quiet. But eventually, we got a number.

Genting Self-Exclusion Option 云顶自我隔离政策





If you call the 24-hour hotline 03-6105 9557, don't expect whoever pickup the phone to understand or heard of the Self-Exclusion Option. If you are not speaking to the right person, politely ask to speak to the Manager, and hopefully he/she knows about the Option. Otherwise, call back another time and try again.

On my last visit to Genting to look for my mom, it took me more than an hour and many calls to finally meet with one Mr Jacob Lim of Genting. To be in the exclusion list, the person has to be present in the Casino and must sign the form in an office located near the entrance. If you are looking for the office, take the first right after the security check, you'll see an unmarked door sandwiched between jackpot machines lining against the wall to your right.

So the first thing to do was to get my mom into the office. Earlier my older brother and his friend had located my mom while I and my wife were busy trying to look for Mr Lim. But my mom refused to leave the table when I asked her to please stop and talk to a manager from Genting. It turned out that it was easier to persuade Mr Lim to go against Genting policy and walked over to the table and try to get my mom to stop and follow him to the office. I threatened to create a scene if he wouldn't help.

Mr Lim preferred to speak to my mom privately but only managed to persuade her to come home with us, he failed to get my mom on the self-exclusion list. And there is nothing we can do about it.

www.genting.com
    In the UK, the Group via Genting UK is committed to contribute to public education on responsible gaming, research into the prevention and treatment of problem gambling, and the identification and treatment of problem gamblers. Its voluntary contribution to the Responsibility in Gambling Trust supports these commitments by helping to fund research works by UK universities, education initiatives and registered charities.

Ah Long and Genting

Ah Long is the cause of gambling debt. This is one financial service that destroys families. So how does Genting view Ah Long?

To find out, I called Genting and asked to speak to the person-in-charge of the Security, which is located next to the Clinic. And I talked to one Mr Ng Lan Chong (properly mis-spelled, he refused to spell it out for me), and this is what more or less said to me:

  • I understand your concern, but no one force your mother to gamble and to borrow money. So the family must control your mother.
  • I cannot tell you what to do (with regards to Ah Long).
  • It is not so convenient to talk on the phone, you have to come here personally and talk to the Manager. Tell us your problem and we'll see how to go from there.
  • Of course, we are doing our level-best to eradicate Ah Long. We'll send them to the Balai, it's police case.

The above is a response to these:

  • What's Genting view on Ah Long?
  • What are my options with regards to Ah Long?
  • One Ah Long affects many many families, I'm willing to cooperate, setup trap etc. to catch them. This is not just about my family.
  • When gambling becomes pathological, it's not a simple problem that family members can handle. You are not trained as a counselor, you do not know what we have been through, you shouldn't counsel me to control my mom. That part I will do, you should do your job.

During this protracted conversation, suddenly I realized that Ah Long and Genting are living in a symbiosis relationship, they can't live without each other. And at that point, I thanked him and hanged up.

Reply from Dr Chin

Hi,

Those signs (goggle) may fit your mum's gambling behaviour but that at the moment, they may just be your perception/concerns. Thus, you will need to be sure before discussing or sharing your concerns with her. By the way, you did not tell me the signs that may relate to your mum? If your suspicion is true, she may deny she has got a problem with gambling. So what made you think your mum has a problem? Are there gambling support group where you are? If so, check it with them. The family is a very important support network too, so bear that in mind. I am sure the counsellor will inform you of that too. The family needs to show both support and their concerns to your mum. But like I said, please be sure before you approach your mum. Let me know the signs that your refer to about your mum. I am not a resident in Malaysia as I live in UK.

Regards,

Dr. Chin

Hi Dr Chin

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate that. I didn't know you are in UK and thought that you may know where I can seek help locally; I don't know where to turn to. Before you, I called up Genting and managed to talk to a Manager about the Self-Exclusion Program. She told me the "counselor" they have is a member of the HR Dept and only provide the service in the casino!

Here's why I think my mom is pathological. I went to Genting twice last week to stop her from gambling. The week before, my elder brother went up to get her down, based on his suspicion. In Nov 2008, my mom collapsed in the casino and was sent by ambulance to HUKM; and again in July 2009. In the last 3 years, among my brothers, we have cleared tens of thousands of gambling debt for my mom; I have to prepare a couple more checks totaling RM21k for Ah Long today. This has been going on for years, my dad accused her of losing tremendous amount of money in Genting before their separation.

My mom fits at least 8 of the list here. She has not committed any fraud yet.

Is there gambling support group in KL? I don't know. I found one, but there is no phone number and I do not know if it's active. I'm going to try this first.

We are not completely helpless, I will continue to find a way. I have started a blog to document this. May I have your permission to publish your response?

Thank you.
正大光明

Friday, January 29, 2010

A Letter to Dr Chin Chiow Leon

Hi Dr Leon Chin

My mom is a gambling addict. It took me a long time to realize that. I knew she's fond of Genting. But not until a series of events over the past couple of years and only just a couple of days ago did I finally understand a little of the problem. I did not know the behavioral pattern of a pathological gambler until I googled and read about the 10 signs, which is everywhere. And those signs fit my mom.

I came across your article 'Betting Against the Odds' in my googling. I need to get my mom started on the slow road to recovery. Question is where do I begin?

Thanks for your help.
正大光明

The Rate

Here's the prevailing rate in Genting:

RM50 interest for RM1,000 loaned for every period (一期), the period is in days, and depend on your standing with the Ah Long, can range from the standard 3 days to in rare cases, a couple of weeks. So, if you have a good credit history, and manage to get a 7-day period, and if you borrow RM10k, at the end of the week, you'll need to pay back RM10,500. If you pay beyond the period, the interest may be compounded.

A Letter to Tony Pua

Hi Tony

I just learned that in Singapore there is a National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) http://www.ncpg.org.sg/th_casino_exclusion.html (a really well-designed website) . You'll see (if you take the time) that it provides real resources to address gambling problems faced by her citizens.

In Malaysia, we have this:http://www.rwgenting.com/en/casino/responsible_gaming.htm, which is very limiting. First, the gambler herself would have to exclude herself, no family member, no 3rd party; and she has to be personally present in Genting Casino. Second, it's only for six months period. Third, the "counselor" is a member of the Genting HR Department!

(OK, other resources a Malaysian citizen turn to is MCA's Michael Chong. But he has not come up with one shred of real legislative solution to our gambling problems, or other problems that he deals with daily, for that matter.)

If we can't make Genting and other Gaming Companies in Malaysia sympathetic to the plight and the suffering they cause to the countless families, mine included, we should at least make the government, who earned millions of tax revenues from gaming (http://www.asgam.com/article.php?id_article=1139), set up similar National Council as that of Singapore.

I plead that you or DAP or PKR, take up the cause and do everything in your power to help find a solution.

Best Regards
正大光明