My mom health deteriorated a couple of years before her passing on 28 April 2015. What resolved her problem was her health, she couldn't get herself to Genting. She suffered back-pain and was bed-ridden. With her passing, I thought I would not need to deal with problems from gambling. I was wrong.
My mother-in-law is addicted to 4-D. She accumulated more than RM3mil debt. It's mind-boggling. This was all new to me. How do we deal with this? I remembered this blog has some materials that may help. From here, I found out 信心戒赌会(马来西亚). So, I asked my wife to attend their weekly Friday meet on 15 March 2024. I didn't go for the meet because my in-law doesn't know that I know about her addiction. This is what my wife wrote:
A volunteer, Heng, was interviewing Mom. He said that he was a problem gambler himself for decades. His father always helped pay for him, and made him signed an IOU receipt every time. However, the IOUs only turned into a thick pile; he didn't honor a single IOU. Gamblers never pay off their own debts. That's how they are. So, don't help gamblers pay their debts but focus instead on addressing their addiction. Otherwise, it's a never-ending story, all of them continue the habit until they can't get more money. At this stage, the debt collector, or 大耳龙 as they're known, will typically take four actions to recover the debt: 1. Putting up posters around your house to make neighbors aware of your issue. 2. Exposing your case on social media. 3. Locking up your house, shop, or factory. 4. Throwing red paint.
Heng's advise is to delay payment to debt collectors for now. Wait until Mom's addiction is being treated, then they'll guide her or us further. Their advice is, don't worry about debt settlement; put that aside. Cure the gambler's addiction first. Heng told Mom that this is a disease and asked if she wanted to cure it. Mom agreed to go to the center to get help. YS and I will take turns bringing her there, as they want family members and the gambler to go together. I saw many gamblers with their families in church yesterday. The church sets aside every Friday from 8:30 pm to 10:00 pm for problem gamblers and their families. Family members exchange among themselves while the gamblers are in their own group, with volunteers facilitating.
This is a church-based center, and the pastor who founded it was a problem gambler himself. The center has been operational for 22 years now. Many of the volunteers are ex-gamblers or their family members, which adds a level of understanding and empathy to the support provided. Their approach is for the gamblers to take responsibility to pay off their own debt gradually. Others should not pay for them.
There, the problem isn't money. The problem is to convince the gamblers to seek help in curing their disease. The first step is to call +6013 336 2933.
